Vettel retires

Exclusive: Vettel retires and becomes an ambassador for “Sundays for Future” – Sebastian Vettel ends his active Formula 1 career – but there is still a lot to do. Plans for Ukraine Peace GP

What many feared has now come to pass: Sebastian Vettel (34) will end his Formula 1 career with immediate effect. After four world championship titles, 279 starts, 53 victories and 57 pole positions, the Heppenheim driver is hanging up his helmet. Yesterday, his Aston Martin team had confirmed that he would drive again after two Corona-related retirements at the Australian GP next week. But the decision on the U-turn was made overnight.


Vettel exclusively to “It doesn’t make sense anymore. We fly around too much, drive in the wrong places and my Mercedes engine uses too much fuel. I will now devote myself to more important things.”

The German peace and environmental activist will not turn his back on Formula 1 altogether, however. Together with the marketers of Liberty Media, Vettel founded the initiative “Sundays for Future”. Among other things, the German will act as a driving instructor, teaching the young drivers in the pinnacle not only how to drive through the bends in a fuel-efficient manner, but also where. Vettel: “I will steer the kids in the right direction.”

He is also one of the ambassadors of the Ukrainian Grand Peace Prize, which is to be held at the Nürburgring in September instead of the cancelled Russian GP. Vettel: “I think that’s great. At the Nürburgring, only the weather is the enemy. But we will face that with our heads held high.”

For the new initiative, chief marketer Liberty Media and the FIA have brought ex-boss Bernie Ecclestone (91) back on board as chief advisor, internally codenamed Titanic. Ecclestone exclusively: “The Nürburgring doesn’t have to pay anything to get our frenzied circus of millions. For this unique event, we will invite all public TV stations worldwide to broadcast the race free of charge, following the example of the Live Aid concert in 1985. During the broadcast, all TV stations will display a donation account to help alleviate the need in Ukraine. In addition, the teams will donate parts of their income and set clear signs for peace. For example, Mercedes will stick the peace sign on the car instead of the star.”

But that’s not all, as the Brit reveals: “In the extended supporting programme, the video of John Lennon with his peace hymn ‘Imagine’ will be shown shortly before the start. The highlight will be a live performance by my good buddy Sir Paul McCartney of Lennon’s other peace anthem, ‘Give Peace a Chance’, and ‘All You Need is Love’. And to extend a warming hand to the Russians – if there is peace – there will also be the adapted Beatles classic ‘F1 back to the USSR.'”

Ecclestone also has the climax of the ceremony in mind: “During the national anthem of Ukraine, sung by Sir Lewis Hamilton, who will accompany himself on the piano, all the drivers will humbly lie down on a prayer mat facing Hamilton.”

Ecclestone is relaxed about the fact that the millions don’t bubble up as much as usual at the Peace GP: “In recent years, we have collected billions from the democratic rulers of Saudi Arabia, Abu Dhabi, Bahrain, Qatar, Russia, China, Turkey, Azerbaijan and the small duchy of Fuschl near Salzburg, because we were happy to give them a stage to propagate their – especially as far as human rights are concerned – exemplary political systems worldwide. So we don’t have to make any big sacrifices and we don’t earn as much as usual at the GP of Ukraine. But our smaller profit is, after all, for a very good cause.”

To make the pinnacle even fairer and even less arbitrary from a sporting point of view in the future, Ecclestone’s old buddy Flavio Briatore, who like Big Bernie has been assigned an advisory role by chief marketer Liberty, also already has ideas. For example, the race in Las Vegas, which will take place in 2023.

Briatore exclusively: “We’ll put a one-armed bandit in the pit for each team. Between us, we have more than enough of them. During the pit stop, the drivers have to pull the lever. The display then shows ‘three, five, eight or ten seconds’. This is the time they have to stop in addition to the tyre change. We do everything we can to ensure that sporting fairness wins. But most of all we think of the fans. Especially the American fans.



TJ13 Editors note

Apologies readers, the date slipped my mind! But sitting down here at TJ13 Towers with my cup of coffee this afternoon, I couldn’t help but be impressed by Ralph Bach’s hilarious April Fools posting on today… So had to ‘reblog’ it having not had time to scribe something silly myself.  Hats’ off Ralph! Simply a brilliant April fool’s post.

Have a great weekend readers.


20 responses to “Vettel retires

  1. What a loss to F1, I met him once at Silverstone and he had a dry wit and wasn’t afraid to laugh at himself, he was great fun. Unlike Schumacher who I met at the Monaco GP and was distant and had the personality of a rubber plant. I hope he finds happiness in what he does next but I know he will be missed on the grid for his humour and teasing, he will always be a legend.

    • Sorry to hear shumacher wasn’t kind to you. Should keep the comments to yourself as he can’t defend himself and you are arrogant and rude

      • You think Schumacher wonky bother to reply if he could? Don’t be a fool. The man might have been good, but he was also a poor loser bordering on a cheater. No point blowing smoke up his arse because he had an accident.

      • Arrogant and rude is just how I would have described Schumacher, I was with other people on a corporate event. He wasn’t interested in talking to anyone and wouldn’t have any pictures taken and wouldn’t give any autographs, he made it quite clear he didn’t want to be there. We met many other drivers and they were very different and happy to assist in any way, Schumacher was the only one, he had this elitist air about him. Damon Hill drove some of us around the circuit and he wouldn’t be drawn on Schumacher but all he said was ‘he is who he is’. Damon was a lovely bloke and I’ve met him a few times since at Golf events and once at Silverstone and he was always friendly and kind as were a lot of other drivers. Would it have been so hard for Michael to be a little different? Damon did say this once, ‘I was not very close to Michael – well, I got very close to him on the track – but Michael was quite difficult to know’ that says it all really!

    • He made enough money. This is the first..
      The second is that anyway, doesn’t have any chance to win anything with his actual team.. That’s why.

  2. That’s not funny at all, I like a joke like anyone else but I was genuinely upset but glad that Vettel is still with us, second time I’ve been pranked today. I hate April 1st 😊

    • Maybe a lesson to always double check before reacting. Count to 10. Think before you speak…. Shooting from the hip is an American habit, not British.

      • Yep, I agree Duckey, I’ve always been impulsive and often it works in my favour but sometimes has resulted in me making a mistake. I didn’t read a post properly yesterday which made me jump to the wrong conclusion, I admitted my mistake but it’s unlikely to be the last time. I learnt long ago to never be afraid to admit a mistake rather than blame something else which I’m sure will make you laugh as I always stick to my guns with you but when it comes to Lewis and Max, I just try to stick with what I know.

      • Wow, I missed an autokorrect whilst replying to a sanctimonious prat on the Internet. Where do I sign up for self flagellation? Heaven forfend you have anything but a 100% record with the queen’s when posting online.

        • That did make me smile, Duckey learning to spell, when did that happen! He is one of the worst to spell on this site and when I mention it he says it’s because he’s Dutch, so that explains the illiterate comments then 😂

      • Yep, not my finest moment and I was also pranked by a friend too. I’m getting too old for April 1st 😊

  3. Good April fools joke. Here’s mine: I found out Hamilton has decided this season will be his last racing in F1 & that his successor will be Gasly since he seemingly won’t get another RBR chance.

  4. We think that this “joke” retirement statement is in very poor taste, in its reference to support for Ukraine. The war is not a joke & it’s actually really sickening that you bring it in to this ridiculous phony press release.

  5. Surprised about Vettel
    You brought that Wee Racist Eccleston back. After the conspiracy and now this iam done with F1

  6. Surprised about Vettel
    You brought that Wee Racist Eccleston back. After the conspiracy and now this iam done with F1

  7. Very sad joke at times. Some people can make this kind of a joke about aid to Ukraine, Hamilton performing the anthem etc etc.?! that goes way too far when there are men, women, children killed there by a barbarian aggressor. Maybe it’s just a lack of education of those writing……

  8. Sounds like a retired person. I’ve made my money and paid off all my bills driving cars with fuel in them now I must stop others doing it because it don’t matter to me no more. Pretending to be helping the youth when really a typical self fish person

  9. Maybe Bernie can donate to Ukraine a a huge chunk of his own cash from the millions he has made fron F1.

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