The Alpine circus continues its travelling roadshow of confusion and charm, this time setting up in the wake of the Austin debacle. Franco Colapinto, the Argentinian golden boy who recently decided that ‘team orders’ are more of a suggestion than a rule, has apparently survived the chop. According to Switzerland’s tabloid Blick, the French team will retain Pierre Gasly and Colapinto for the 2026 season.

An announcement is supposedly planned for Brazil, because what better place to confirm the future of the only South American driver than in front of a continent ready to forgive anything except treason?

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The Austin incident

Let’s rewind to Austin, where Alpine turned what could have been a quiet midfield finish into a soap opera. With just a few laps remaining, Colapinto was instructed to maintain his position behind Gasly. He naturally heard ‘attack immediately’, floored it and swept past his teammate as though trying to prove that reading team radio transcripts is optional.

The ensuing radio chatter could have melted carbon fibre. Reports say Colapinto received a “good telling off”, which sounds suspiciously polite for what was probably a tirade of words that would make even Günther Steiner blush. As part of his punishment, the young Argentinian was reportedly made to apologise to the entire team, a ceremony that undoubtedly resembled a hostage video filmed in an Enstone conference room.

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The Mexico memo

By the time the paddock reached Mexico, Colapinto’s fate was apparently sealed. Blick claims that Alpine quietly informed him that his seat for 2026 was safe. The logic seems simple: he’s quick, he’s young, and he hasn’t yet realised that Alpine’s corporate slogan might as well be ‘Let’s just see what happens.’

It’s hard not to admire the optimism. After all, the team spent most of 2025 perfecting the art of internal chaos. One week they’re touting long-term plans; the next, they’re conducting philosophical experiments on what ‘management stability’ actually means. Yet somehow, Colapinto’s raw speed, and the occasional accidental overtake, has convinced them that he is worth another chance.

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The Brazilian blessing

The timing of the announcement is almost poetic. Brazil, with its carnival atmosphere and passion for homegrown heroes, will probably treat Colapinto like a local hero. Expect chants, flags and perhaps a samba remix of the Alpine team radio featuring the now legendary Austin overtake.

Cynics might say that Alpine is using the moment for good PR, but this is Formula 1, where PR is the only thing that runs on schedule. With Colapinto being the only South American on the grid, the move will almost certainly earn him a standing ovation — and a few extra sponsors from Buenos Aires to São Paulo.

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The Doohan-Aron subplot

Of course, none of this bodes well for reserve drivers Paul Aron and Jack Doohan, who were supposedly in the running. At the beginning of October, Alpine CEO Steve Nielsen teased that a decision would be made “in a few races”, with all three contenders being evaluated. He even praised Colapinto’s recent form, noting that he had beaten Gasly a few times and was ‘on par’ with the Frenchman.

In other words: ‘We might as well keep the kid who ignores us but finishes races.’

It’s a classic Alpine strategy: reward chaos, hope for points and pray to the ghost of Fernando Alonso’s past seasons.

Gasly, for his part, is probably wondering what he has to do to avoid being overtaken by his own teammate — ideally, something that doesn’t involve public humiliation. However, Gasly has learned the Alpine way: smile for the cameras, repeat the word ‘progress’, and pretend that everything is under control.

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Enstone’s eternal experiment

As the circus prepares to roll into São Paulo, Alpine appears ready to double down on the pairing that embodies its brand of controlled chaos. Colapinto and Gasly both stay, and the rest of us get another year of exquisite midfield melodrama.

Will Franco behave himself next season? Probably not. But will Alpine love him anyway? Absolutely. After all, nothing screams ‘team harmony’ quite like a driver who apologises in one country and then overtakes his teammate in the next.

As always, the jury is invited to deliberate: has Alpine made a masterstroke, or is this just another entry in its ever-growing book of beautiful disasters?

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