Where would ‘Sir Lulu’ go?

TJ13 Formula 1 news and opinion brings us to question where would Sir Lewis Hamilton, sometimes known as ‘Lulu’ (generally to detractors), and where he might go now that it is clear that the current situation is for just a single year at Mercedes.

The British journalists almost to a man/woman/they reacted with discomfort to the Megan Markel and Oprah love in. Most daily news publications are still printing regularly the discrepancies between ‘her truth’ and fact/reality.

 

lewis hamilton admits likely defeat to rosberg for 2016

Given the quality of her acting in ‘Suits’ no one should be surprised that any rational individual finds most of the Oprah/Markel drama to be unbelievable.

A number of colleagues have suggested they had a similar discomfort when watching the Sky interview with Sir Lulu, the 3rd Earl of Stevenage, over the opening F1 weekend in Bahrain.

The 6 times winner of the Mercedes International racing series, where only their cars are capable of winning, looked particularly shifty when asked about his shiny new contract – and why it was merely for one year.

 

“Firstly, I’m kind of in a fortunate position where I’ve achieved most of the stuff I wanted to achieve up until this point, so there’s no real need necessarily to plan too far ahead in the future,” muttered the Monaco resident.

“We’re living through an unusual period of time in life and [really….errr… honest to God] I just wanted one year,”

Lips moving……Mmmm.

One of the UK’s top F1 presenters Jonnie Herbert, now tells Motorsport-Total.com that behind the scenes (ie not what Lulu claimed) – Jonnie knows Sir Lu is unhappy with Merc for refusing to pay him what he deserves for 3 more years.. The fact this was equivalent to the cost of vaccinating planet Earth against Covid-19, could be the real ‘truth’ behind the 1 year deal.

 

The ex ‘slum’ resident meanwhile will presumably use this short period to find ways to pressure Merc into signing over him the deeds to the city of Stuttgart for as long as he wants – ‘cos I is so talented’.

One way of doing this would be to threaten to go to another team. Clearly Lulu’s engineering prowess and unsurpassable driving talent would launch ‘new team Lewis’ to the top step of the podium each F1 weekend. This must be a concern to Merc and hopefully they’ll give in to the much loved F1 champion’s demands.

 

But seriously, where would Sir Lewis go if he left Merc?

In politically correct terms, Ferrari are probably the least ‘diverse’ of the F1 competitors. So that’s probably a non-runner.

That said the Swiss are neither particularly known for their inclusivity – and the Hinwil based team are now more Ferrari’s bitch than when Peter ruled the roost.

 

Christian Horner is unlikely to allow the British ex-pat anywhere near Milton Keynes. Most people would probably conclude the reason for this to be Red Bull’s expressed view that Max is the future and Lord Lewis is ‘getting on a bit’. YET, the real reason rather surprising; Ginger Spice quite likes Lulu and so her hubby is a bit jealous.

The Baby Bulls would likely follow Horner’s lead and looking into hard man Franz Tost dark sunken Austrian eye sockets should make it clear to anyone him having any kind of relationship with Sir Lewis is simply a non-starter.

 

Four teams down already, 5 to go.

Alpine, formerly known to Horner as the French team with no name, are about to see their home nation elect Marine Le Penn as President. So recruiting Lewis is just a no no.

Williams couldn’t possibly recruit Lewis because if he came anything higher than 15th it would reflect so poorly on Claire’s highly respected guardianship of the team for a decade. It may well even be written into the sale contract with the Grove team’s new owners that they can never have Hamilton driver for them.

 

McLaren…… Sorry, did someone just fall on the floor and laugh themselves to death? The Spa tweet will never be forgiven.

Aston Martin is known for its historic association with James Bond. Add to this, persistent rumours that when Daniel Craig steps down suggest the next Bond may be a person of colour.

Right on cue. Up steps Lewis Hamilton. White tie pucker – and Milk Tray in hand. (Mixed metaphors methinks).

 

However, most unfortunately – ‘breaking’ – the next Bond is actually going to be a female lesbian POC and Lewis is rumoured to be have a ‘cock’. Megan has poor little rescued chickens, so why not?

This now leaves Haas. Yes, that’s the answer on so many levels.

Sleepy Joe Biden wants to repair America’s image and is encouraging half of Mexico to cross the USA’s southern border, so he’s well up for a POC driver in the Murican team.

 

Plus given the communal angst in the former British colony over the behavior of their officers of the law towards George Ford and black people in general, Haas hiring a black driver puts the notion the US is racist to bed.

Further, Lewis haters consistently complain his winning record is mostly due to the piece of German machinery he drivers. So, going to Haas will put the Lewis trolls to the sword once and for all.

 

Gene Haas dropped Gunther a Christmas note saying, ‘all the money is gone’ and HaasF1 pretty much have a kit car from a run down factory in Blackpool. They have no money and Gunther is distracting us all with his wit and humour from the reality of the worn and broken technology that is their racing machine.

So, Sir Lewis Hamilton going to HaasF1 would finally prove to the world him winning, is now and always has been about his awesomeness and definitely not the car.

Case closed.

 

 

 

9 responses to “Where would ‘Sir Lulu’ go?

  1. If,If,If Ferrari get ‘hot’,then of corse Sir Lewis would jump at THAT deal,…..but only if it comes with the gaurantee that he wins another title in ‘the red one’..
    ….!

  2. 7 titles must really burn, ouch, barely literate, rapster gangster BLM was in your face bad bro, you wish your other half also fancied him so you could watch iinnit

    eat it cabron

  3. “man/woman/they” – fml is there nowhere i can go to avoid this insane mentally deranged cult who think they aren’t man or woman?!

  4. @ the self proclaimed “judge”

    Just when you seemed to be able to stoop no lower than your last set of whack ramblings, you go and knock it well and truly out the park with this, by single-handedly insulting pretty much every F1 person mentioned in the article, AS WELL AS some that have nothing to do with the sport (you lost me on that one – whats Megan Markle got to do with anything other than also being of mixed race????? ), whilst packaging it up as an attempt to be funny

    New depths reached – sad

      • “Just when you seemed to be able to stoop no lower than your last set of whack ramblings, you go and knock it well and truly out the park with this, by single-handedly insulting pretty much every F1 person mentioned in the article’, Next article coming soon at ya’

        I’m so happy you understand our work. Thank you. 😘

        • “Attempts” at sarcasm unfortunately only serve to throw yourself further into shade, so nice try but you just proved my point… so really I have to thank YOU 😘

        • well, with all the respect i’m sort of struggling to get your recent two articles(Lando and Lulu) and more so your rant above. Sincerely Yours. Agris Rūmītis

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