Cry “Havoc!” and let slip the dogs of war!
Latest news from the podcasting shed is that the TJ13 Strategy Group has vetoed the participation of Italian underdog Carlo Carluccio, because his telephone does not meet the revised 2015 rules to full extent. An attempt to get an exemption to use a modified 2014 telephone was dismissed for noise abatement reasons.
Unexpectedly, American podcast stalwart Matt Trumpets did miss the podcast too, but his press office categorically denies that his absence would hint at financial problems or any unpaid bills to his whiskey supplier.
Seemingly oblivious to the continued demise of podcasting members, commercial rights-holder Bernard E. Spanners insists that the podcast is healthy and will fulfil its contractual obligations. However, having shrunk to three members the panel barely fulfils the minimum that has been guaranteed to the promoters.
Returning is the man, who makes the National Rifle Association look like a bunch of tree-hugging peace protesters – TJ13 Project Manager and Chief Enforcer – the bane of every Lion’s life this side of the Sahel zone – from the distant shores of South Africa, Mr. John Myburgh.
Number two on the panel is the man, who single-handedly saved the British brewing industry from being taken over by ze Germans. TJ13 Editor in Chief and the only man in the world who looks more ridiculous in a bathrobe than Gary Hartstein – representing her Majesty’s Empire – Mr. Andrew Huntley-Jacobs
And the third member of the team is the man who single-handedly prevented ze Germans from taking over the British brewing industry, because they can’t even keep up with his consumption, back for the first time this year – representing Das Vaterland – Fat “my arms are too short” Hippo.
This week the Mötley Crüe in the shed discusses the rivalry between the Williams drivers Felipe Massa and Valteri Bottas as the brave knights do battle for the undivided affection of fair Lady Claire, F1 Rules we could do without and they make some bold predictions for 2015.
This week’s band is called The Gyro, is a London based 4 piece futuristic funk rock band, with their song Heart N Soul.
Finally why not join us at Rye House for some karting action? Call Rye House on 01922 460 895 and quote “TJ13 2PM march 28th” to book. The cost for racing with the TJ13 crew and other F1 fans is just £68. The price includes a 20% discount on the standard costs of a race session and allows you to drive the same tarmac where Lewis Hamilton learnt his craft.
You need to arrive at 1pm and the qualifying and race starts at 2pm. After the race (at around 3.30pm) we will grab a pint and the winner will get his special TJ13 trophy. If the session is fully booked when you call, please leave your name and contact details on the waiting list and we will let you know if spaces become available.
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iTunes 5 star reviews: We would also like to take this opportunity to ask you all for your support. As the TJ13 community grows the Podcast is becoming a huge part of the journey. From recent chats within the F1 paddock in Jerez we have found it is establishing a following within the world of F1 and we would like to continue to grow and make TJ13 the number one site for F1 information across the globe.
One way to establish this would be if you could all vote on iTunes with a five star rating as this then pushes the podcast up the rankings and in turn brings more people into the site. This will allow further development of the site, contributors and always with the vision of giving everybody a voice.
Carlo Carluccio probably gets coded instructional messages too. All phone communications should be banned for the 2015 podcast season.
Re Krazy Kamui Kobayashi
Hmm… some sort of subliminal messaging there, eh AJ?
Anyway… KKK couldn’t brake in T1 Melbourne simply because Tony forgot to switch on the brakes before the race. Or was that perhaps the first iteration of scotched car parts at Caterham, melted down by an overheating Renault?
Re Unlucky Massa
Fascinating overview of Massa’s career and achievements. I always felt there was more to Felipe than meets the eye, and that many underestimate him at their own risk. And seeing a relatively close matched battle between Bottas and Massa in 2014 only comforts this view, both proving their worth by matching one another.
Our VoC puts the two neck-and-neck, and it only highlights how unlucky Massa really was in 2014:
Valtteri Bottas 4 167 -19
Felipe Massa 6 156 +22
Our BJF puts Massa in a supremely respectable position, well within the realm of historic top-tier F1 drivers (a tad on the margin, but in the whereabouts nonetheless), and well within the Top 20 never to win a WDC:
34. Gilles Villeneuve
35. Jacques Villeneuve
36. David Coulthard
37. Felipe Massa
38. Emerson Fittipaldi
39. Jody Scheckter
40. Mark Webber
41. Tony Brooks
42. Denny Hulme
43. René Arnoux
44. Rubens Barrichello
45. Jenson Button
And F1Metrics places Massa in an impressive position:
29. Felipe Massa (2008-2010, 6.87 ppr)
All this points to Felipe being the real deal, as he has proven in 2008. Perhaps his incredible bad luck, when he doesn’t take out opponents and blame them in the press afterwards, has extended not only to his races in 2014, but also career-wise: Losing a WDC on the last corner; literally getting hit in the head with a metal thingy; and then waking up in bed with a Machiavellian teammate in Alonso, and saddled with #2 status in a Ferrari team post-Schumacher.
Maybe the best thing that happened to Felipe lately career-wise was the Williams lifeline, where he could compete on equal terms—more or less—with a fiery teammate, in a good car. I say 2015 shall be fascinating to observe the dynamics within Williams, to see whether Bottas can increase his peak performance envelope, and whether Massa can match that.
And for all the Massa doubters out there, how many drivers can boast of having outbraked and overtaken from 3rd on the grid a pole-sitter Hamilton on top of his game?
Cool podcast. I think you’re all as mad as a bicycle though for picking Massa over Bottas.
Dude. I fought for Bottas.
The podcast was really good this week. Maybe it was from the stupid American and his trumpet not being on?
F1 rule change – pit stops are so short that they are uneventful. Every pit stop needs cheerleaders on the sidelines.
F1 rule change – the rear wings need to be the same width and at the same height as in the late 90’s. Also, no limit to the size of the DRS opening.
F1 rule change – you are still only allowed to harvest 4mj per lap, but battery storage would be unlimited and seconds of energy used per lap would no longer be limited to 33 seconds. Energy output would still be limited.
I sure do hope you’re not being serious. That “stupid murican and his trumpet” is one of the most insightful members of the TJ13 podcast shed… Always…
Couldn’t agree more