Brought to you by TheJudge13 contributor Mattpt55 – the best in Scrutineering, Stewards’ Decisions, and other assorted FIA documents looked at slightly irreverently
There’s the race we see on telly, and then there’s the race behind the scenes. One rarely talked about by reporters but told in part by the official FIA documents. Here is a selection of this weekend’s documents for you to peruse at your leisure. Enjoy. Wonder where all this great stuff came from? Right Here
From the Dept of the Future
they promised us jet sweepers and finally they delivered
From the Dept of Consistent Consisitency
Well that ‘s good to know. Imagine if they didn’t
From the Dept of Things We Now Know
First, that’s not a lot of time to get ready for quali, even if it is a Porsche. Second, FFS, what are they using, baby monitors? The smartest people in the room and you use motion detectors that can be set off by fans. Oh dear, it’s even worse than I thought.
From the Dept of Counting All The Things
Kvyat broke his duck but who’s going to be next?
From the Dept of FIA upgrades
Whole lotta Merc drivelines on that list
From the Dept of
New ratios for the Mercs. Maybe we’ll finally get to see 8th gear make a appearance. LOL.
From the Dept of Totally Obvious Questions
And there you have the full panoply of human emotion. Try not to get too excited. I’m sure they didn’t prep for that.
From the Dept of Freudian Envy
It’s not the size of the wheel but how you use it that counts.
From the Dept of Corrections
For “I hope” it should read “No”. That is all.
From the Dept of Hopes and Dreams
Between Whitmarsh and Lowe you’ve actually got a shot.
From the Dept of Pushing Hard
Remember Marcus, use the word push as much as possible.
From the Dept of Intellectual Voids
The one question from the floor. F1 journamalism FTW.
From the Dept of ReCounting All the Things
Not really sure why ALO doesn’t get a penalty for this. Perhaps typo.
From the Dept of Zombie Lies
LOL Tost is RB tool but he’s also absolutely right. MK toeing company line, not what I expected. Fans didn’t ask for this, it was FOM’s evildoing all the way.
From the Dept of Wishful Thinking
Assuming there is a Sochi, of course.
From the Dept of Artful Dodging
Or he’d had enough and go while the getting was good.
From the Dept of I Think There’s a Sentence there Somewhere
Well you are in the deep and stinky stuff if you don’t even know when testing for next year starts.
From the Dept of
So it’s OK as long as you don’t have to pay for it. Got it.
From the Dept of De Nile is more than a River
So it’s not your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong. K then. I’m sure the courts will agree with you completely.
From the Dept of Peculiar Business
So to recap: Russian money but your still getting it despite sanctions, or so you claim. And a completely “business driven” club that will make money in F1 but seeks no glory. I call shenanigans on the lot of you.
From the Dept of
From the Dept of Still more Counting
Things continue to look up for Seb.
From the Dept of SoftWarez
Better get the Hippo
From the Dept of Arrested Development
The Leprecorn is starting to stamp his authority on Merc. Even Lauda has noticed the job he’s doing.
From the Dept of New Catch Phrases
Because seven thousandths. I like it
From the Dept of It’s Danny Time
There may yet be hope for the youngs
From the Dept of Surprise
But I thought you had worked with Paddy before?
From the Dept of Definitely Some Hope
Wait till it’s your turn to sit in Seb’s chair. Then we’ll see what you’re made of. So far I approve.
From the Dept of Well, At Least They Agree On Something