Brought to you by TheJudge13 contributor Mattpt55 – the best in Scrutineering, Stewards’ Decisions, and other assorted FIA documents looked at slightly irreverently  

There’s the race we see on telly, and then there’s the race behind the scenes. One rarely talked about by reporters but told in part by the official FIA documents. Here is a selection of this weekend’s documents for you to peruse at your leisure. Enjoy. Wonder where all this great stuff came from? Right Here

 

THURSDAY

Tech

From the Dept of the Future

they promised us jet sweepers and finally they delivered

From the Dept of Consistent Consisitency

Well that ‘s good to know. Imagine if they didn’t

From the Dept of Things We Now Know

First, that’s not a lot of time to get ready for quali, even if it is a Porsche. Second, FFS, what are they using, baby monitors? The smartest people in the room and you use motion detectors that can be set off by fans. Oh dear, it’s even worse than I thought.

From the Dept of Counting All The Things

Kvyat broke his duck but who’s going to be next?

From the Dept of FIA upgrades

Whole lotta Merc drivelines on that list

From the Dept of 

New ratios for the Mercs. Maybe we’ll finally get to see 8th gear make a appearance. LOL.

Presser

From the Dept of Totally Obvious Questions

And there you have the full panoply of human emotion. Try not to get too excited. I’m sure they didn’t prep for that.

From the Dept of Freudian Envy

It’s not the size of the wheel but how you use it that counts.

From the Dept of Corrections

For “I hope” it should read “No”. That is all.

From the Dept of Hopes and Dreams

Between Whitmarsh and Lowe you’ve actually got a shot.

From the Dept of Pushing Hard

Remember Marcus, use the word push as much as possible.

From the Dept of Intellectual Voids

The one question from the floor. F1 journamalism FTW.

FRIDAY

Tech

From the Dept of ReCounting All the Things

Not really sure why ALO doesn’t get a penalty for this. Perhaps typo.

Presser

From the Dept of Zombie Lies

LOL Tost is RB tool but he’s also absolutely right. MK toeing company line, not what I expected. Fans didn’t ask for this, it was FOM’s evildoing all the way.

From the Dept of Wishful Thinking

Assuming there is a Sochi, of course.

From the Dept of Artful Dodging

Or he’d had enough and go while the getting was good.

From the Dept of I Think There’s a Sentence there Somewhere

Well you are in the deep and stinky stuff if you don’t even know when testing for next year starts.

From the Dept of 

So it’s OK as long as you don’t have to pay for it. Got it.

From the Dept of De Nile is more than a River

So it’s not your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong. K then. I’m sure the courts will agree with you completely.

From the Dept of Peculiar Business

So to recap: Russian money but your still getting it despite sanctions, or so you claim. And a completely “business driven” club that will make money in F1 but seeks no glory. I call shenanigans on the lot of you.

Naughty Step

From the Dept of 

Foreshadowing Quali.

SATURDAY

Tech

From the Dept of Still more Counting

Things continue to look up for Seb.

From the Dept of SoftWarez

Better get the Hippo

Presser

From the Dept of Arrested Development

The Leprecorn is starting to stamp his authority on Merc. Even Lauda has noticed the job he’s doing.

From the Dept of New Catch Phrases

Because seven thousandths. I like it

From the Dept of It’s Danny Time

There may yet be hope for the youngs

From the Dept of Surprise

But I thought you had worked with Paddy before?

From the Dept of Definitely Some Hope

Wait till it’s your turn to sit in Seb’s chair. Then we’ll see what you’re made of. So far I approve.

From the Dept of Well, At Least They Agree On Something

Can’t wait…….