Lewis Hamilton’s dog gets a pass, Vettel complains repeatedly about tyres, Are McLaren and Honda working together in secret

A dogs life

I know mechanics who bust their guts for their teams and have been unable to get paddock passes for their parents, however, Bernie has decided to issue one to Lewis’ dog Roscoe. A relieved Hamilton said, “Bernie was kind enough to allow him to have one, I’ve just got to get a picture of him…”

Lewis explains his life long attachment to the dogs and it would clearly be devastating should Roscoe be bared from the pit lane. “He’s my new best buddy,” Lewis grinned. “I’ve always wanted a dog and I grew up with dogs when I was really young, I had Labradors. My mum has five dogs and my dad has a dog as well and I’ve always wanted one myself but I’ve never really had the opportunity.”

Some commentators observe Lewis indeed has recently demonstrated his passion for intimate associations with the canine species. A few years ago he formed an attachment to an American breed of dog and was clearly devastated when that one – a bitch – ran away and left him.

untitledNow his Lewis has realised the error of his ways and so to climb into his own version of the Jenson ”bubble” – he has this time picked another canine friend – but this time of the male species.

Some observers have noted Roscoe is indeed more handsome than his predecessor. Other’s believe Lewis has made a wise choice as Roscoe will not be looking to have puppies and require to be supported for a lifetime in the lavish style she is accustomed to.

Silver Rockets:

RTL Deutschland is describing Hamilton’s effect on the German owned F1 team in an interesting if not politically correct manner. They suggest he is making ‘rockets’ out of the silver arrows.

untitledThe intended target this time is not London – as with the V1 and V2 programmes of WW2 – but leafy Surrey on whom they declared war in 2012. Following a raid on the Woking headquarters in September – as equally as daring as the one on Entebbe – they kidnapped the prized operative from the British and whisked him off to the Fatherland.

Now following months of indoctrination, he is fully redeployed as one of their own counter espionage operatives and was seen last week in the region of Catalunya partaking in a rousing rendition of Das Deutschland. This declaration of war brought to an end nearly 2 decades of friendship and collaboration between the Embassy in Brixworth and Woking HQ.

Having conquered the original British owned region of Brackley, Stuttgart are in buoyant mood as they have recently recruited a host of senior military strategists. Yet one was noted to say recently, “Having lost sight of our objectives we need to redouble our efforts.”

As the old saying goes “He who laughs last laughs loudest” – or I guess “last man standing is the only one left alive”.

untitledAnyway rumours emerging from Woking suggest they have been co-operating most closely with an old and powerful ally from the east. Their might is known to the world and it may be that together they will repel the silver arrows rockets with ones much bigger and more powerful than of their own.

Kaiser’s troops not halted but slowed

The recent domination over the past 3 years of the modern day House of Habsburg has led many to question whether the resistance movement is futile and that destiny is pre-ordained. Yet for the lucky allies there appears a chink in the armour of this most mighty of machines. However, contrary to the belief of some observers this cause for hope lies not with Ma Qing Hua even though he has heartily offered his services to the battle field generals. His time may come, but for now he is training with the reservist forces.

During the recent manoeuvres in land of Catalunya, the battalion of the Austro-Hungarian Empire – as led by the fearless Kapitän Vettel – were observed to falter from their usual incessant and relentless quick march. Apparently the balance of the massed ranks machine was affected by the shoes with which they had been provided.
untitledWhen questioned as to the exact nature of the problem, the resplendent Kapitan was not clear, suggesting merely, “The shoes were just not good enough for us to run at pace”. With his many medals glinting in the sunlight, the Kapitan was then asked how he believed this situation could be improved. Again he blamed the shoes for preventing them operating at the regular fast paced march tempo and confessed to not knowing the right strategy to correct this problem.

Kapitan Vettel was then questioned AGAIN about what area of improvement he could forsee for the up coming campaign overseas. He retorted, “It is very difficult to determine the exact area, because the shoes were not good enough on the last two days the weather was very good – Blue sky, sunshine.. and it was not particularly cold. The asphalt was also quite good, but the shoes were still bad and we must look at the data and compare them with our values ​​from the last time we were in the land of Melbourne”.

untitledThe honourable Kapitan was begged to give his opinion on how he felt matters would actually develop in the impending overseas campaign. For a FOURTH time the illustrious officer Vettel remarked wistfully “we have never had a winter training camp like this year. We don’t know how long the shoes will last. We have had problems getting heat into the shoes and it may be that our adversaries will make better use of their shoes – we just don’t know at this time”.

No one dared question Kapitan Vettel further on the matter for fear he had lost his mind and was obsessing – however is apparent that the mighty Kaisers previously indefatigable army has problems with their shoes.

TJ13 F1 Predictor Challenge

If you’d like to play along with us in a pretty easy game during the F1 season, then click here and follow the instructions. So far here are our runners and riders before the off. Fake Charlie Whiting is our star fake celeb (22,000 followers on twitter), the Usher pestered to be allowed to play so I relented and let him in.

SomersF1 is in so we can have a “Tech vs Gossip” battle. We have some rampaging horses and 1 or 2 others….

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And here’s my selection for Melbourne – took just 3 mins as you can tell 😉  (You can change selections up to 5 mins before qualifying.

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30 responses to “Lewis Hamilton’s dog gets a pass, Vettel complains repeatedly about tyres, Are McLaren and Honda working together in secret

  1. Glad to be onboard with the predictor, have to be reminded to keep on top of my selections though time got the better of me last year before some race weekends LOL Hopefully I won’t end up in Charlie’s office for too many Technical Infrigements either 😉

    As for the McLaren-Honda story, trust AMuS and Benson to rattle up that hornets nest again. As an aside I wrote about the plausibility of this back in October when I heard some rumblings… http://somersf1.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/mclaren-honda.html

    • Couldn’t agree more re: Honda story. I wrote a piece last year entitled, “McLaren Mercedes Divorce” http://thejudge13.com/2012/10/22/mclaren-mercedes-divorce-and-cosworth-need-a-new-partner/ and another in the news roundup in October emphatically titled “Honda 2014 – no chance” http://thejudge13.com/2012/10/24/on-board-a-lotus-79-schumacher-threatens-to-leave-switzerland-honda-no-chance-for-2014/

      So great minds obviously think alike as I wasn’t aware of Somers back then 🙂 This rumour is eminating from Germany though not Benson. To that end there may be some legs in the tale that McLaren are beginning to work with Honda (in a small way maybe).

      I wanted to find out how long the McLaren engine deal was for, but couldn’t get an answer from Woking. Is it to the end of 2014 or the end of 2015 Somers?

      These things are usually multi year contracts and so there’s no way Mercedes would allow them to sign up for 2014 only – if they were out of contract.

      • If McLaren was smart they negotiated the typical deal that lasts for a couple of years (probably 2015), but whereby app. 6 months before the year starts they have to exercise an option for the effective usage of the engine in the next year. If they have done so, McLaren can get out of the Mercedes deal at no or limited cost around mid 2013 (if they would want to run Honda as of 2014 which seems highly unlikely) or around mid 2014 (if they want to run Honda as of 2015 which doesn’t seem inconceivable).

        • I’m hearing tonight – they have an ‘option’ for 2014 and 2015 and this was negotiated when Daimler bought Mercedes AMG F1 from Brawn and McLaren re-acquired the 40% stake held by Stuttgart,

  2. Dogs are not allowed at racetracks that is a universal rule that it is the height of stupidity to break. Bernie above all should have not only refused a pass but threatend prosecution. Ther is little doubt that some minion left n charge of the beast will let it out in the paddock at some point. Then if it gets run over there will be no tears shed at the stupidity. Dogs must not be anywhere near race tracks.

    Secondly I don’t see the problem with that tyre, in the 60s all my tyres were like that most of the time. They worked fine in the dry, admittedly the cars used to slde down the camber a bit in the wet, but it all added to the joy of driving.

    • I was wondering how he was going to get the dog in and out of the UK for many races, what with strict quarantine regulations, until I remembered he doesn’t live in the UK. In fact, to my knowledge, there is only one driver who resides, and pays taxes, in the UK – Webber.

    • I also recall having the ‘magpie-coloured’ tyres – “What larks, Pip old chap…”

  3. If we look at the Australian GP over the last four years we see:

    2012 – Pole – Hamilton – Fastest Lap – Button – Winner – Button
    2011 – Pole – Vettel – Fastest Lap – Massa – Winner – Vettel
    2010 – Pole – Vettel – Fastest Lap – Webber – Winner – Button
    2009 – Pole – Button – Fastest Lap – Rosberg – Winner – Button

    Other than 2011 Button dominates the race. He has to be one of the picks.

    • Agreed, I think I said something to that effect in Barca 2 test posting. However, tweaks to setup on the MP4-28 appear to take forever on McLaren’s new pull rod suspension (pull rod notorious to be more difficult for mechanics to work on) – and it concerns me Jenson won’t get enough fiddles in to set the car as he wants it.

      • In the testing report that is on McLaren’s website they now refer to the car as MP 4-28’A’… An early indication that the push rod is already again under consideration in Woking?

        • I saw that – and I mentioned during the test that the additional changing of the setup for Jenson quickly enough will be tricky

    • Depends on whether JB is in the same hotel room as 09,10 and 12 or not.

      All of this is of course the fun of (sometimes educated) guessing – do you go on just recent events (meaning Jenson is most likely to win this race, despite not being on pole for his last 2 wins), but still taking into account testing times, and team and driver changes, etc.

      Also think Hamilton on pole and win is a bold, risky move atm. Of course though, there are 11 or so days to change it anyway, should people decide to.

      • Most matters – sir – are subject to judicial review 😉

        Gary Anderson’s predictive grid using Fuel adjusted times for Barcelona test and the diff last year between best adjusted test time and Melbourne qualy time. Remember Lewis did not run on Sunday, bar far the best weather and track temp…

        1 Rosberg 1:19.730
        2 Button 1:19.764
        3 Vettel 1:19.797
        4 Hamilton 1:19.886
        5 Raikkonen 1:19.968
        6 Alonso 1:20.004
        7 Webber 1:20.113
        8 Perez 1:20.348
        9 Grosjean 1:20.498
        10 Massa 1:20.576
        11 Maldonado 1:20.705
        12 Bottas 1:20.868
        13 Sutil 1:21.247
        14 Hulkenberg 1:21.341
        15 Di Resta 1:21.464
        16 Gutierrez 1:22.353
        17 Vergne 1:22.823
        18 Pic 1:22.915
        19 Bianchi 1:22.967
        20 Ricardo 1:23.138
        21 Chilton 1:23.903
        22 Van Der Garde 1:24.035

  4. Getting sick of Vettel’s little game. saw him talking to Ted on Sky and he refused to even acknowledge they were running passive DRS, we’ve known for the past six months that this was gonna be this year’s big thing so why dance around it? I’m almost at the point where I don’t see the point of pre season testing, Ferrari have also confirmed we won’t see the true car till Australia and we know Red Bull are going to pull the same thing.

    • I still think Red Bull have a magic device for Australia or maybe Malaysia.. which will be highly controversial…

      The rake on the car was very high again in Barcalona

  5. Totally agree on Red Bull secret device… they’ve been hiding something at the back of the car at all the tests
    I am sure they’ve been sandbagging and they will clearly be the quickest in Melbourne…

    The logic in that is quite simple… from 2012 towards 2013, there has been no drastic regulation change. This will come in 2014.so the cars of 13 are more like evolutions from last year cars….

    I would never buy into the story that Red Bull being a fantastic and quick car last year… they lost it and painted a Toro Rosso in its place…

    They will again come with some trick or magic device as TJ13 suggested… and they will be on pole.

    I wont also buy in the story that Mercedes was a mid grid car last year have got it wonderfully right this time and they made a RB9 challenger this year

  6. Well we will find out at Melbourne, thy are not allowed to use screens there. But it could easily be a “wind up” for the other teams.

    Mind I would probably make sure I was seen with a shovel and a pile of sand.

  7. If I were the dog I would avoid the Korean GP…not just because of the dull racing

    • I want to go to Mokpa – it sounds like Plymouth 200 years ago. Sailors, whores, love hotels, bars, brawls – sound great 😉

      Plus no one goes to the race so you can go where you want.

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