A dogs life
I know mechanics who bust their guts for their teams and have been unable to get paddock passes for their parents, however, Bernie has decided to issue one to Lewis’ dog Roscoe. A relieved Hamilton said, “Bernie was kind enough to allow him to have one, I’ve just got to get a picture of him…”
Lewis explains his life long attachment to the dogs and it would clearly be devastating should Roscoe be bared from the pit lane. “He’s my new best buddy,” Lewis grinned. “I’ve always wanted a dog and I grew up with dogs when I was really young, I had Labradors. My mum has five dogs and my dad has a dog as well and I’ve always wanted one myself but I’ve never really had the opportunity.”
Some commentators observe Lewis indeed has recently demonstrated his passion for intimate associations with the canine species. A few years ago he formed an attachment to an American breed of dog and was clearly devastated when that one – a bitch – ran away and left him.
Now his Lewis has realised the error of his ways and so to climb into his own version of the Jenson ”bubble” – he has this time picked another canine friend – but this time of the male species.
Some observers have noted Roscoe is indeed more handsome than his predecessor. Other’s believe Lewis has made a wise choice as Roscoe will not be looking to have puppies and require to be supported for a lifetime in the lavish style she is accustomed to.
RTL Deutschland is describing Hamilton’s effect on the German owned F1 team in an interesting if not politically correct manner. They suggest he is making ‘rockets’ out of the silver arrows.
The intended target this time is not London – as with the V1 and V2 programmes of WW2 – but leafy Surrey on whom they declared war in 2012. Following a raid on the Woking headquarters in September – as equally as daring as the one on Entebbe – they kidnapped the prized operative from the British and whisked him off to the Fatherland.
Now following months of indoctrination, he is fully redeployed as one of their own counter espionage operatives and was seen last week in the region of Catalunya partaking in a rousing rendition of Das Deutschland. This declaration of war brought to an end nearly 2 decades of friendship and collaboration between the Embassy in Brixworth and Woking HQ.
Having conquered the original British owned region of Brackley, Stuttgart are in buoyant mood as they have recently recruited a host of senior military strategists. Yet one was noted to say recently, “Having lost sight of our objectives we need to redouble our efforts.”
As the old saying goes “He who laughs last laughs loudest” – or I guess “last man standing is the only one left alive”.
Anyway rumours emerging from Woking suggest they have been co-operating most closely with an old and powerful ally from the east. Their might is known to the world and it may be that together they will repel the silver arrows rockets with ones much bigger and more powerful than of their own.
Kaiser’s troops not halted but slowed
The recent domination over the past 3 years of the modern day House of Habsburg has led many to question whether the resistance movement is futile and that destiny is pre-ordained. Yet for the lucky allies there appears a chink in the armour of this most mighty of machines. However, contrary to the belief of some observers this cause for hope lies not with Ma Qing Hua even though he has heartily offered his services to the battle field generals. His time may come, but for now he is training with the reservist forces.
During the recent manoeuvres in land of Catalunya, the battalion of the Austro-Hungarian Empire – as led by the fearless Kapitän Vettel – were observed to falter from their usual incessant and relentless quick march. Apparently the balance of the massed ranks machine was affected by the shoes with which they had been provided.
When questioned as to the exact nature of the problem, the resplendent Kapitan was not clear, suggesting merely, “The shoes were just not good enough for us to run at pace”. With his many medals glinting in the sunlight, the Kapitan was then asked how he believed this situation could be improved. Again he blamed the shoes for preventing them operating at the regular fast paced march tempo and confessed to not knowing the right strategy to correct this problem.
Kapitan Vettel was then questioned AGAIN about what area of improvement he could forsee for the up coming campaign overseas. He retorted, “It is very difficult to determine the exact area, because the shoes were not good enough on the last two days the weather was very good – Blue sky, sunshine.. and it was not particularly cold. The asphalt was also quite good, but the shoes were still bad and we must look at the data and compare them with our values from the last time we were in the land of Melbourne”.
The honourable Kapitan was begged to give his opinion on how he felt matters would actually develop in the impending overseas campaign. For a FOURTH time the illustrious officer Vettel remarked wistfully “we have never had a winter training camp like this year. We don’t know how long the shoes will last. We have had problems getting heat into the shoes and it may be that our adversaries will make better use of their shoes – we just don’t know at this time”.
No one dared question Kapitan Vettel further on the matter for fear he had lost his mind and was obsessing – however is apparent that the mighty Kaisers previously indefatigable army has problems with their shoes.
TJ13 F1 Predictor Challenge
If you’d like to play along with us in a pretty easy game during the F1 season, then click here and follow the instructions. So far here are our runners and riders before the off. Fake Charlie Whiting is our star fake celeb (22,000 followers on twitter), the Usher pestered to be allowed to play so I relented and let him in.
SomersF1 is in so we can have a “Tech vs Gossip” battle. We have some rampaging horses and 1 or 2 others….
And here’s my selection for Melbourne – took just 3 mins as you can tell 😉 (You can change selections up to 5 mins before qualifying.