F1 to have another rear end emission duct

arse

Formula One’s obsession with ‘the show’ continues. The mission of the powers that be is to change stuff and make things better in the sport is ignoring the obvious.

The sport is in decline in terms of both TV viewer and spectator numbers, because the price they have to pay to watch and attend, is far too high.

Add into the equation that many of the modern races are boring and processional, as demonstrated by the latest offering from the Monaco GP; supposedly the Jewel in F1’s crown.

Without the bravery and valour of the young Max Verstappen, the 2015 Monaco GP would have been entered in the annuls of F1 history as one of the dullest races ever in Formula One.

More noise is apparently the answer – so they say; and the F1 engine manufacturers are working to fast-track a solution that will increase the volume of the power trains for 2016.

Mercedes, Ferrari, Honda and McLaren have all committed to a rule change that will see the current single exhaust pipe be doubled to two.

Two, four and even eight exhaust pipes have been seen before in automotive history, so this is nothing new from a technological perspective.

What will be a first for F1, is that they are about to regulate on a technological solution which is akin to Botox, or a new nose job, maybe even in line with giving a girl new double J boobs.

The uber efficient current exhaust system muffles engine sound because downstream is the turbo wastegate, which emits its output via a single exhaust exit.

The proposed new arrangement will see two pipes protruding from the rear end of the F1 cars. One of these pipes will do pretty much the same as does the currently regulated single pipe. The other is to be a mere sound conduit, direct from the engine.

Exhaust number two is a showbiz sensation. It’s like getting a second arse hole. So now one exhaust pipe will deliver the substance, whilst the other provides apparent incremental entertainment.

Two is obviously better than one – and this means happily, there will be no more follow throughs.

Cyril Abiteboul, Renault F1 engine boss believes that two holes are better than one. “Anything that can improve the noise is welcome and I am happy with it”. Abiteboul added, “I don’t want to be negative. I just hope that it is going to be enough.”

In terms of F1 governance for the last eighteen months, there have definitely been at least two other arseholes knocking about, doing little other than emitting a lot of noise.

Two exhaust pipes will not arrest the decline in F1 viewers or spectators. Getting rid of the aero parts which create the turbulent air that makes overtaking impossible, would be a far better starting point.

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22 responses to “F1 to have another rear end emission duct

    • Actually I’ve re thought this….with all the talk of arse holes that’s been posted here, we all know Bernie’s a bit hard of hearing…..so why not ear holes?
      Given that American interests have taken the lead in the FIFA schemozzle, a Colt 45 would be an appropriate way of improving his audiology…….

  1. Cmon judge. You’re monaco hate comes in the way of your thinking. Nothing can beat the Russian gp in terms of Boring.

  2. If only that big trumpet pictured above would have produced the level of noise everyone hoped it was going to, it would have been glorious. Hopefully the double arse works and everyone gets noise glorious noise. I miss the sound of the old Mercedes diesels. Made noise and a bit of pollution too. Formula 1’s numbers will go up when people know they’re not lining Bernie’s pockets. The Formula 1 aero guys and engineers love their aero bits to scale them bit too much. The new front wings remind me of a fan. A scaled down wing would help things.

  3. My 2 year old boy loves cars, hot wheels, Cars movie, IndyCar, NASCAR, and especially F1… He can make the engine noise with gear shifts in all. Why I bring this up is when they show a replay of 2013 or prior he perks up and eyes glued to the screen, but not 2014 or newer. The v6’s are amazing tech, but my 2 year old is hypnotized by the sounds of old.

    I went to Austin last October… They are amazing in person it’s just not as raw on tv. The shrieking noise of the older NA engines on the verge of explosion is what I want. The engine now sounds tame and under control. Let the beast out.

    • @john from CA.
      If he likes all that, then NHRA top fuel dragsters would be awe inspiring. North of 9000HP and enough output from the exhaust header to give more than 4.7Knf/1008 ft lbs measured down-force. Makes the exhaust blown diffuser of the past, seem quite wimpish. Noisy? How about a measured >150db spl at track side. Ear protection mandatory. If you think modern F1 looks slow, then how about 4G acceleration in 0.5 secs and 4.7G at the 2.5 sec mark. Another thing, full engine strip down and rebuild, ready to run in under 55 minutes.

  4. Monaco is what it is because it is THE PLACE to be seen. Just put v-10s and v-12s back in the cars and cut a lot of the BS regulations. Let the designers do their jobs.

  5. “…the bravery and valour of the young Max Verstappen”. Is that what we’re calling it now?

  6. I thought the engine manufacturers were supposed to be about to topple Bernie? This sounds as if they’ve just caved in to his daft demands….

    Sound only improves the show if the cars are circulating individually. I’d prefer to see silent cars dicing for position.

    • What bothers me is that for all the loud noise on sound coming from Bernie et al., cars sound nicely in real life (at least as evidenced by TJ13 videos from testing, and some first-hand accounts), but sh^tty on the FOM feed. Instead of brainwashing us all on the need to change the engines (or exhausts, or what have you), maybe they simply need to fire the current sound engineer at FOM…

  7. How are they going to do two pipes? You want to keep good pressure in the turbo, so I guess the second pipe will only blow if the turbo is already at max efficiency and all the regenerative components electrobuzz stuff is fully loaded. Which would mean that you get noise from the 2nd pipe a few times a lap / at the top range of revs at the end of gears? Or should I expect something different? They want 1000bhp as well, that’s not going to happen if you waste energy.

  8. Exactly how is this going to work – will one pipe bypass the turbo? won’t that make the engines less efficient? wasting energy as noise to please the dinosaurs running and following the sport!!
    How about putting some positive spin on the technological advances (the future is here now) in the sport – not show biz trumpets?

  9. I asked a rhetorical question hereabouts quite a while ago: Can a sport be shallow? Errr… it seems that’s an emphatic yes.

    These half-arsed attempts at finding solutions for F1’s growing attention deficit problem make me wonder whether these clowns could find their own arse with two hands, a copy of Gray’s Anatomy and a week of intensive arse-finding workshops.

  10. Why do I have a vision of the boy racers pimping up their Vauxhall Nova with a fake 2nd exhaust pipe?

  11. Artificial sound to go with the artificial sparks, passing and tires, combined with consistent helmet designs…problems solved and they didn’t have to touch the crooked division of the financial proceeds or the lousy, parking lot tracks.

  12. Why not just admit its pandering, and install sound generators which get an inputs from from throttle and rev percent.
    Give each manufacturer their own signature, and be done with this silly discussion.

  13. This is the most ridiculous thing I have heard! F1 wants to be ‘green’ but also wants to be loud and fast? MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE! The more efficient your turbo is, the quieter your exhaust. I can’t see why ANY time would want to vent exhaust gas down a second pipe with no turbine in it. So the only thing that makes sense would be to use the second pipe for the wastegate, in which case you’ll still only get extra noise on transients.

    Remove the rev limit. Remove the fuel flow restriction. Let them rev these suckers back up to 22k RPM’s, that will get people’s attention again. No more of this silly sealing of engines either; let the teams tear down and replace components with like-for-like between races.

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