Formula One’s obsession with ‘the show’ continues. The mission of the powers that be is to change stuff and make things better in the sport is ignoring the obvious.
The sport is in decline in terms of both TV viewer and spectator numbers, because the price they have to pay to watch and attend, is far too high.
Add into the equation that many of the modern races are boring and processional, as demonstrated by the latest offering from the Monaco GP; supposedly the Jewel in F1’s crown.
Without the bravery and valour of the young Max Verstappen, the 2015 Monaco GP would have been entered in the annuls of F1 history as one of the dullest races ever in Formula One.
More noise is apparently the answer – so they say; and the F1 engine manufacturers are working to fast-track a solution that will increase the volume of the power trains for 2016.
Mercedes, Ferrari, Honda and McLaren have all committed to a rule change that will see the current single exhaust pipe be doubled to two.
Two, four and even eight exhaust pipes have been seen before in automotive history, so this is nothing new from a technological perspective.
What will be a first for F1, is that they are about to regulate on a technological solution which is akin to Botox, or a new nose job, maybe even in line with giving a girl new double J boobs.
The uber efficient current exhaust system muffles engine sound because downstream is the turbo wastegate, which emits its output via a single exhaust exit.
The proposed new arrangement will see two pipes protruding from the rear end of the F1 cars. One of these pipes will do pretty much the same as does the currently regulated single pipe. The other is to be a mere sound conduit, direct from the engine.
Exhaust number two is a showbiz sensation. It’s like getting a second arse hole. So now one exhaust pipe will deliver the substance, whilst the other provides apparent incremental entertainment.
Two is obviously better than one – and this means happily, there will be no more follow throughs.
Cyril Abiteboul, Renault F1 engine boss believes that two holes are better than one. “Anything that can improve the noise is welcome and I am happy with it”. Abiteboul added, “I don’t want to be negative. I just hope that it is going to be enough.”
In terms of F1 governance for the last eighteen months, there have definitely been at least two other arseholes knocking about, doing little other than emitting a lot of noise.
Two exhaust pipes will not arrest the decline in F1 viewers or spectators. Getting rid of the aero parts which create the turbulent air that makes overtaking impossible, would be a far better starting point.