#TechF1 Treasures- The #F1 Race Weekend in Official FIA Documents #ItalianGP

Brought to you by TheJudge13 contributor Mattpt55 – the best in Scrutineering, Stewards’ Decisions, and other assorted FIA documents looked at slightly irreverently  

There’s the race we see on telly, and then there’s the race behind the scenes. One rarely talked about by reporters but told in part by the official FIA documents. Here is a selection of this weekend’s documents for you to peruse at your leisure. Enjoy. Wonder where all this great stuff came from? Right Here

 

From the Dept of Important Information

 

BFriEvent1

BFriEvent2

 

Yes, but it was the *important* half of the gravel they replaced

 

From the Dept of Counting All The Things

 

AThursTech1

 

 

Oh my, the race for first grid spot penalty is agonizingly close

 

From the Dept of Dental Hygiene

 

 

AThursTech2

AThursTech3

 

Aaanndddd New Ratios for Kimi!!!! But not Fred. Interesting.

 

From the Dept of Eternal Palaver

 

A1ThursPresserFAPodium

 

 

As long as it’s Fernando this time.

 

From the Dept of Pass the PopCorn

 

A2ThursPresserKMFABattle

 

I’m glad you’re not bitter about those laps, Mr Alonso.

 

From the Dept of This Could Get Interesting

 

 

A3ThursPresserNR

 

Or not. Done and Dusted  then

 

From the Dept of Stop Making it so Easy

 

A4ThursPresserLH2EZ

 

Ummmm…. Nothing in your Mind? That’s your final answer?

 

From the Dept of Maybe not Dusted but Surely Done

 

A5ThursPresserLHMindReader

 

C’mon, if Lewis is anticipating your questions, maybe it’s time to ask some new ones.

 

From the Dept of Making History

 

A6ThursPresserNRHistory

 

 

Way to suck up to the drivers, LOL.

 

From the Dept of NOT Making History

 

A7ThursPresserLHHistory

 

LOL, gotta agree. glad to see they’re both on the same page.

 

From the Dept of Time to Get a Grip

 

A8ThursPresserVBGrip

 

So basically  Nico and Lewis take each other out in the first chicane then.

 

From the Dept of WHA?

 

A9ThursPresserCHI

 

 

So basically you’re not going to tell us, are you.\

 

From the Dept of Porky Pies

 

A10PorkyPies

 

So not the drivers then. Wonder who it could be? Hmmmm……

 

From the Dept of Aren’t We 

 

A1APresserNRLHFA

 

 

Claro. It  is all the things that have been but not done. LOL

 

From the Dept of Beating Dead Horses

 

A2APresserNRLHDejaVu

 

Well, now that it’s been thoroughly explained

 

From the Dept of Dear God Where *DO* They Get These Questions

 

A3AThursPresserNRWitchHunt

 

You mean the kind that every other champion has to endure?

 

From the Dept of Missing the Point

 

A4AThursPresserLHHungary

 

Perhaps you should have followed with “What *DID* you get punished for?” instead. That would have been interesting.

 

From the Dept of Finish What You Start

 

A6AThursPresserLHso

 

 

So are you leaving or staying?

 

From the Dept of You’re Not the Boss of Me

 

A7AThursPresserNRSorry

 

Clearly your bosses can’t make anyone do anything, LOL. Classy move though.

 

From the Dept of One of These Things is Not Like The Other

 

A8AThursPresserPara1

A9AThursPresserPara2

 

There’s always someone

 

From the Dept of Well at Least We’ve Heard the Last of— Noooooo……….

 

A11AThursPresserSpa

 

ZOMG cut it out and ask them something interesting like which shoe they tie first, if they’ve learned how to use laces yet.

 

From the Dept of Recounting All the Things

 

BFriTech1

BFriTech3

BFriTech4

BFriTech6

 

 

For some reason I want a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

 

BFriTech7

 

 

And now I want to watch Star Wars. Go Figure

 

From the Dept of Keeping it Legal

 

BFriTech8

 

Barely Legal.

 

From the Dept of Inane Statements

 

BFriPresser1

 

Zzzzzzzzz………….

 

From the Dept of 

 

BFriPresser2

 

Wow, zinging Mercedes and Renault all in one go. Way to make friends….

 

From the Dept of

 

BFriPresser3

 

ROFL stuck in traffic…. At the Track.  And it’s amazing how quickly smart people leave when you stop paying them. Would’ve thought those Masters of the Universe at Genii might have figured that out.

 

From the Dept of Ugly things

 

BFriPresser4

 

 

LOL so you don’t want to talk about it either.

 

From the Dept of Moral Outrage

 

BFriPresser5

 

 

Wow. Just Wow. So we shouldn’t read the news and have opinions because it might be dangerous???!!!! I suppose we should just let Big Papa Toto do all the thinking for us. OMFG WTF is wrong with these people. And yes, Marco *did* speak to Montezemolo. He asked him to clear his desk and security would escort him to the lobby, LOL.

 

From the Dept of You Lot  Are Serious

 

BFriPresser6

 

 

Seriously, WTF is wrong with these people. Not a shred of moral decency or courage on display.

 

From the Dept of  Quid Pro Quo

 

BFriPresser7

 

So either Wolff knows it won’t happen, is so scared of Honda that he’s willing to take the risk, or Merc have something way up their sleeve. Discuss

 

From the Dept of Lookie Lou

 

BFriPresser8

 

Nothing to see here, move along, ignore that tiny man behind the curtain while we continue to discuss costs and do nothing about them. La La La I can’t hear you..

 

From the Dept of Ta Da! We Have a Winner

 

CSatTech1

And what will our lucky winner get?

 

From the Dept of Gifts that Keep on Giving

 

CSatNaughtyStep1

 

 

Why 10 grid spots, Alex.

 

From the Dept of Might as Well Replace it All

 

CSatTech4

 

But it’s still a Renault

 

From the Dept of More New Things

 

CSatTech2

 

CSatTech3

CSatTech5

 

Well, if they only had an ACDC the jokes would be endless.

 

From the Dept of I Thought SoCSatTech6

 

 

Was on the tip of my tongue, swear. Wonder if it’s the same problem Lewis had yesterday. Surely someone will ask.

 

From the Dept of Wordy Words

 

CSatPresser1

 

How do you feel? What happened? Let me try. How much downforce are you running and did the team offer you a choice. Were the electrics problems you both suffered related? What the hell is a layshaft sensor anyway? Glazed or Cream Filled? IS P3 more important than P2 this year? ZOMG save us from the utter banality.

 

From the Dept of Utter Banality

 

CSatPresser2

 

Yes, if they crash each other out or their cars break. Otherwise no, obviously not.

 

From the Dept of More Stupid

 

CSatPresser3

 

Ahhhhh…. almost. Was it the same problem. it’s right there, right in front of your eyes….

 

From the Dept of Awesome NickNames

 

CSatPresser4

 

 

Maximum Attack Bottas it is.. And stiffer or softer. Do tell

 

From the Dept of You’ve Almost Got It

 

CSatPresser5

 

 

No, really, you’ve almost got it.

 

From the Dept of Naughty Step

 

CSatNaughtyStep2

For a moment, Pastor was exuberant as Lotus was tops in the speed trap. Then he realized it was in the pitlane…..

 

From the Dept of Utter Mystery

 

CSatTech7

So all the Mercedes teams are fastest and they all use the same software that none of the other teams have. I’m sure there’s no appearance of impropriety there

 

From the Dept of Sat on the Really Really Naughty Step

 

CSatNaughty5

 

Well, at least he’s a second slower than everyone he’s raced against recently. Oh, wait… Maybe he thought his regular speed in a Caterham counted as slowing down….

 

Happy Race Day!

 

48 responses to “#TechF1 Treasures- The #F1 Race Weekend in Official FIA Documents #ItalianGP

  1. I guess you missed it Matt, but Kvyatt has already won the race for first grid spot penalty. He’s using a 6th ICE, took a grid penalty and will be starting 21st

  2. Hands up who thinks there’s going to be an epic T1-T2 stack. The team mate tensions on row 1, row 2 and row 3 is palpable. It’s like sitting fuel and the long Monza run to an acute T1 is the spark.

    -puts hand up-

  3. Unrelated to this post – can I suggest a TJ13 “sandpit” for random comments during various / podcasts? Maybe work, maybe not. I tend to just watch the race, but with free-to-air here in Oz you get ad breaks to read./ comment.
    I just saw James Allen talk to Nico. The Chosen One sounded relatively unsure/off his game / haunted. Interesting race ahead…

      • Well, not really. Wrong passport. Spent a lot of my life in Oz, but other places as well. Been hiding here from the GFC and related worldwide economic downturn – oil & has, northwest shelf hasn’t slowed down much 😉

    • Prolly. Dan made tastier moves than Bottas with less straight line speed. Moves further as ahead of Fred in the WDC chase with the DNF.

      • I’m always here mate, never left, always team LH44!

        The hippo will be very pissed today! Hey spanners, you might as well go and collect your winnings.

    • Clearly, we know what Merc punishment was. Intermittent sabotage of Nico’s brakes until Lewis passed. Wonder why it didn’t happen again, after Lewis passed.

      Notice Toto smiled? Wow… Favouritism much?

      Hmmmmm.

      • Hehe, I see a good number of conspiracy theories:
        1. Nico has replaced his DRS button with a Lewis power off button, because he’s never overtaking anyway as he is either 1st or behind Lewis
        2. The chicane mistake look like on purpose done. Too controlled, so that was the punishment.
        3. Or more the new team orders; winner and second are settled in quali; who wins the quali wins the race, the other is second. Obviously there’s an occasional situation where both cars don’t finish but otherwise expectation until WCC is sealed quali order will remain. But there must be a conspiracy somewhere that is for sure.

  4. No news there, Lewis is faster in a straight fight. Nico’s lost more than just the race there – like I said he looked a bit haunted after quali yesterday, or just severely chastened with the aftermath ftom Spa…

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