Brought to you by TheJudge13 contributor Mattpt55 – the best in Scrutineering, Stewards’ Decisions, and other assorted FIA documents looked at slightly irreverently
There’s the race we see on telly, and then there’s the race behind the scenes. One rarely talked about by reporters but told in part by the official FIA documents. Here is a selection of this weekend’s documents for you to peruse at your leisure. Enjoy. Wonder where all this great stuff came from? Right Here
SUPER EXTRA SPECIAL RETROSPECTIVE START
From the Dept of Leftovers
Who is the Tom Kristensen and what does *He* know about racing compared to Felipe? LOL
From the Dept of All the Kings Men
They couldn’t put Humpty together again, but were able to screw Lewis’ Merc back together. Similar≠Same. Extra Points if you know what a SPLEF is. Wonder if they billed Brembo for all that?
From the Dept of Back to the Future
Well, that will keep them to only using 1.95 metres then.
From the Dept of Paved Roads
Let’s hope they actually get around to putting it up before the event.
From the Dept of Inferred or Implied
We can infer that it is implied that *someone* was rather naughty at the last GP
From the Dept of Counting All the Things
This is liable to be the only race Pastor is odds on to win this year. But either Toro Rosso or Grosjean could still pull it out of the bag and clinch as early as this weekend.
From the Dept of Dental Hygiene
So when is a gearbox not a gearbox? When the FIA says so, that’s when.
From the Dept of Let’s Turn these in on Time, Please
He must be special, since he get’s his own document
From the Dept of Wordy Words
That would be everyone including your teammate,right?
From the Dept of Why Not?
It would have been vastly more interesting than what you did ask him…
From the Dept of Silly Questions with Silly Answers
Yes, by crashing with Pastor at every opportunity
From the Dept of Crash Courses
Glad to see they have both learned this little life lesson
From the Dept of Planning
Now if they just had a plan for making a better car
From the Dept of Perspicaciousness
Yes, I suppose it is true, not finishing the race is not the best for performance.
From the Dept of Commonality
Yes, 5 DNF’s would pretty much be a problem, all right.
From the Dept of Testify
I ran this through Google Translate and it came out as “I can’t believe I left Ferrari for this disaster of a team”.
From the Dept of Secret Identities
Holy Hopping Horse-Toads, could we have found the judges secret alter ego? .
From the Dept of Shiny New Things
Well, we’re halfway through the season…
From the Dept of More Shiny New Things
Pretty sure 4 isn’t half of 5 though….
From the Dept of Officially Shiny New Things
Took me a minute to figure out it was gearboxes. LOL
From the Dept of Hot Air
Why do they insist on calling it “Sahara”. I thought that was done.
From the Dept of Passing the Buck
Wow, we’re just following orders answer. How could that possibly go wrong
From the Dept of passing the Euro
Wow. Just wow. Craven.Especially considering Bahrain cost McLaren their title sponsor.
From the Dept of Passing the Pound Sterling
So if you think it wrong for F1 to make political statements, wouldn’t you think it wrong for F1 to be used by other countries for the same purpose. Because I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going to happen. Disingenuous would be the polite word.
From the Dept of Where Have All the Germans Gone
LOL, that Christian does have a quick wit. Though Seb was pretty disparaging earlier in the year.
From the Dept of Actual Questions
Holy Cow, someone screwed up and let actual reporters in. Ask a decent question, get a terrible answer, LOL. Though someone should tell Dieter that it’s an *additional* billion bringing the total debt to $3.5 billion. CVC has cleared $4 billion. No need to worry their poor little brains about that.
From the Dept of Dry Your Tears
So Azerbaijan is crying out for motorsport. Who knew?
From the Dept of Arbitrary Decisions
Marco wins the argument, hands down.
From the Dept of Mix and Match
This week it’s Match
From the Dept of Incongruity
Finally, an answer to the question of what do Lewis and Pastor have in common.
From the Dept of Janus
LOLtasty! Now we know for sure. Also, think Nico left out “when it’s not spontaneously bursting into flames” discussing the engine.
From the Dept of Proximity
*Sigh* close but no cigar.
From the Dept of Long Term Planning
It’s good to have a goal.
From the Dept of Loose Language
Like, say, overage charges on your mobile? OR are you talking Caterham. Enquiring Minds and all that..
From the Dept of Unexpected Things
Until Massa runs into something again, that is.
From the Dept of Understatement
Until the tarmac dried. Then it was taking candy from babies time.
From the Dept of Famous Last Words
Free Beers on Seb, everyone’s new favorite driver. Can’t think of a better way to wrap it up. Happy Race Day Everyone!
From the Dept of Happy Days They Published Parc Ferme
From the Dept of Sat on the Naughty Step
There you have it.