Marussia have some kind of Bernie deal, Coulthard Cloned, Chilton under pressure, World’s longest Ferrari

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Maruasia get some kind of deal

Mr. E today has been assuring the F1 world and its fans that we should hopefully see all 11 teams compete for the full 2013 season. He was in fact in Jerez on Thursday last week, even thought TJ13 was otherwise engaged and was absent for his papal audience with other more important business.

“On Thursday I was bringing the teams up to speed with the new Concorde Agreement,” say Ecclestone to Autoweek. “They are all safe. We have got a deal with them all, including Marussia. We are continuing with Marussia. I thought they were going to go [bust] but they are not.” No thanks to FOM eh Graeme? Further, we have no details as to what Marussia have been offered/told they can have (delete as appropriate).


Apparently the teams will receive an improved percentage of the TV rights rising from 47.5% to 63%, though whether this will be an incremental amount of cash nobody knows. The TV companies are likely to wish to negotiate a reduction in the amount they pay Bernie et al due to the coverage they can broadcast being reduced from 20 to 19 races.

Further TV income into FOM is around 45% of the total income they receive annually. The rest is made up of around 45% from promoter’s hosting fees and 10% from F1 global sponsors who are not to be confused with the sponsors who pay the teams direct.

When questioned as to the financial security of the 11 competitors, Ecclestone quips, “They’ve all got more money than God.”

The new Concorde agreement includes a Constructors’ Champion Bonus (CCB) that benefits the teams which have won the most Grand Prix in the four seasons preceding 2012. This figure is either $100m or 7.5% of the total FOM revenues – whichever is greater.

Latest F1 Merchandise: F138

Embedded image permalink

This is from 8 Bit F1 who interprets various items from F1 in 8 bit imagery. I’m far to young to know exactly, but I think he is referring to the graphics of early PC’s – the era of spectrum computer’s etc – which was in the early 1980’s.

So kids of the present, this is what the latest Ferrari would have looked like on your TV screen when playing the official F1 game of 1981.

Coulthard Cloned

It appears the previously top secret Ecclestone master plan is being revealed. He has accepted he is not in fact immortal and is having himself cloned into the image of many popular F1 folk. This will ensure F1 continues to do things ‘Bernie’s way’ for millenia to come. Today TJ13 special investigators have launched operation ‘Spot the Bernie clone’. It is vital we identify these cyborg individuals and at the appropriate time we can round them up and deal with them accordingly. TJ13 readers are asked to be vigilant and assist in this special black ops mission.

TJ13 will lead the way on this as I believe David Coulthard – who for some time has gone interestingly been recognised by the handle @theRealDC – has been officially identified as the ‘new’ David Coulthard. On a podcast for an Australian audience the ‘new’ DC is highly critical of those taxpayers in Melbourne who dare to question how their money is being spent – some $40m a year to provide Bernie and his pals with some early spring sunshine.

“For the one week of inconvenience it may cause some local people, then I think they shouldn’t be so selfish quite frankly” says Coulthard. “They should think of the greater good, what it does for the local economy, what it does to inspire local children to be designers or engineers or whatever it is, engine design, tyres, whether they want to be drivers. You don’t inspire people by not giving them a taste of what is out there in the world.”

This is the rhetoric of Bernie’s team of lawyers who sign up new race promoters promising the earth in national/regional publicity and global investment worth many times more than the measly millions he demands for the privilege of hosting an F1 race. See TJ13 article South Kore, Ecclestone and the Emperor’s New Clothes” for an explanation of the promises made of this nature and the result of one region who believed them.

Demanding tolerance and the consideration of other’s wishes, ironically the ‘new’ DC continues. “If people want to be so narrow-minded and not look beyond their personal needs then that’s disappointing of course. There are lots of things that I don’t appreciate but I don’t go campaigning against it because I understand that a lot of people do like it.” Like what David?

“I think you have to be tolerant in this world and I think for that one week that the people who don’t like the sport [they should] just tolerate the people who do. It’s a truly international event.” Mmm.


We must not be critical of the ‘new’ David Coulthard because if the legendary and heroic Jean Luc Picard can be ensnared by such fiendish technology, what hope is there for a dour Scottish ex-racing driver.

So TJ13 readers, project ‘spot the Bernie clone’ has ID’d its first cyber individual. Amongst ourselves we shall use a covert method of identifying this species – by using first the prefix ‘new’ and then their regular humanoid name. Vigilance at all times is of the essence.

Luiz Razia: I saw his first tweet today (because I just started following him). He seems like an exuberant chappie from what I can tell. Speaking to James Calado he says, “You go to Carnival in Brazil once and never again you will think about Pancake day LOl. Come onnnnnnn!!!”

Chilton under pressure

Max Chilton was looking forward to a season where he could find his feet in an F1 car and he was until recently in a win-win situation. With Timo Glock as his partner, nobody would have expected him to be consistently challenging his senior team-mate.

This then would buy Max a pass for year 2 in F1, so long as he wasn’t utterly woeful. If perchance he could qualify or finish ahead of Timo on the odd occasion, his star would be most certainly in the ascendency.

Could it be Max is now feeling the pressure. He told German media today, “It is not ideal [having 2 rookies in the team] and we will sometimes have a hard time. I had been looking forward to being Timo’s team-mate because he is very experienced.”

Whether having a rookie pairing will hinder the team is yet to be seen, however Marussia appear to have had a simple choice – have 2 rookie drivers and survive or pack up and everyone goes home.

I’ve discussed this ‘senior driver helps a small team develop better’ argument with a number of people in recent times and I’m not convinced the general media perception of this truism is as certain as most believe.

Despite Jano Truli’s recent praxis of why he left Caterham, from what I’ve been told I the decision for Caterham and Truli to part company was heavily influenced by the Italian’s persistent complaints in 2011 about the power steering. Heikki was in the same equipment and we heard little from him over this particular problem.

There have been instances where senior drivers from previously superior teams/car drive for a smaller teams and have obsessed over problems with the inferior car that they dislike. Then they lose sight of the big picture required for the direction in which the car should be developed.

If this is the case, the argument that a team suffers from having 2 rookie drivers is diminished in importance.


Max has more to say, “Neither of us is a number one or number two, because we are both rookies, the team will treat us the same and will help us. I’ll be watching Luiz’s data and he will look at mine. The team has three years of data and feedback, and although it would be nice to have an experienced team-mate, the team will be able to help us with that information.”

Of course Max will now be under the microscope far more now he is driving against the dynamic and quick Brazilian who won 1 feature race and 3 sprint races to Max’s 2 feature race wins in GP2 2012. Razia had 3 fastest laps across the season and Max had none.

When I reported way back on January 21st Force India decision makers…  that I’d heard from an Italian connection of mine Razia had accumulated $20m of sponsors – I demonstrated from his points tally how he could have won GP2 easily in 2012 but for below par results in the final 3 weekends of the series,

Welcome to the high pressure high stakes game that is F1 – Max.

World’s Longest Ferrari
A 23-foot 360 Modena with eight seats and the biggest electric gullwing doors we’ve ever seen. It’s the handiwork of Style Limousines in Manchester, which spent more than £200,000 modifying the rear-engined 360. All eight of the seats are carbon-fibre buckets with five-point race harnesses – which might sound excessive until you discover that the 3.6-litre V8 remains, its 395bhp propelling the mega-Ferrari to 60mph in under six seconds.

18 responses to “Marussia have some kind of Bernie deal, Coulthard Cloned, Chilton under pressure, World’s longest Ferrari

  1. I’m glad Marussia are getting their piece of Concorde pie. Would be better still if Timo were still there, he always seemed like a nice guy to match the nice guys in the garage. Still in F1 at least, the nice guys finish last.

    Nice guys with KERS on the other hand…

  2. Oh you got to love Bernie when he comes out with – “They’ve all got more money than God.” – I seem to remember something about a camel and a needle!!
    I take it the long Ferrari was for a Premiership footballer.

  3. The teams that have won the most Grand Prix in the seasons 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011 are RedBull, McLaren, Ferrari and Brawn, but the question is what will happen with the Brawn-part of the CCB? Will it go to Mercedes in its capacity of Brawn-successor or will it go to Renault (Lotus) who is next in line? Or maybe it will simply be split between ‘the big three’? Not sure that Mercedes will actually sign the new Concorde Agreement until this point is clarified…

    • Unless Bernie has done an about turn, Mercedes will get nothing due to the ‘same name’ rule he devised in 2012.

      You also raise an interesting point, the sale of 40% of the team to Lauda and Wolff is not indicative of a manufacturer who believes they are going to win a title and are committed that cause.

      • For Bernie semantic distinctions have always been a way to circumvent anything that is rule-related, remember when only a couple of weeks ago he wanted to solve the issues surrounding the organization of the 2013 ‘German’ Grand Prix – which from a legal point of view could only take place at the Nurburgring – by renaming it to the 2013 ‘European’ Grand Prix which could then take place at Hockenheim.

        To me it would make more sense if the allocation of the CCB were to happen on the basis of 2009, 2010, 1011 and 2012 results, but by excluding 2012 and its ‘same name’ rule he might already be looking for a ‘logical’ explanation to still grant part of the CCB to Mercedes? Or does anyone see another reason why he wouldn’t want to look at 2012? Maybe too many winners in that year that might raise the argument that Mercedes shouldn’t be getting anything?

        • Good deduction BDP, I’m not privy to any inside information on this I’m afraid. However, the exclusion of 2012 did appear strange.

          It could as you infer possibly be a sop to Mercedes and to be fair to Mr. E he doesn’t continue to agitate when its not necessary or a fait accompli is obvious – cf. V6 Turbo’s

  4. Non practicing RC boy here: Dear Bernie, that Ratzinger guy totally showed you the way.

    (I assume you mean to pun on the “Papal audience”, TJ!)

  5. Incidentally, does anyone know of a good Bernie joke . .

    I’ve got one

    But I’ve not paid for it yet

    • You need to read the small print JoJ, you may find that it’s just the rights in a restricted area for a limited time that you have bought. BTW it’s back dated, so half the time has gone. Nice of you not to pay yet because, we thank you for opening an automatic credit account with Delta Alto, our friendly finance organisation that helps our customers feel relieved and safe in the knowledge that we have your money tied up in a 99 year agreement.

  6. FYI Judge, 8 bit when referring to colour is the size of the colour palette, so an 8 bit palette has 2 to the power 8 colours, which is 256. You can actually get pretty photorealistic pictures in 8 bit providing you use enough pixels and use techniques such as dithering. In fact 8 bit graphics have survived even to this day on the web and were very common up till about 10 years ago before everyone had broadband.

    If memory serves me correctly, the graphics in early computers like the Spectrum were only around 4 bits (16 colours) although I could be mistaken.

    • Welcome NNS

      Afraid not – this one is locked down with Vijay, Il Padrino (Luca De Montezemolo) and another F1 Big Hitter and maybe the Vatican Enclave.

      Strike that last suggestion, it takes far less time for the Cardinal’s to emit the white smoke and decide upon a Pope. 😀

    • Jules Bianchi seems to have got the car under control very well, but there is a strong rumour that Narain Karthiwhatsit is going to get it.
      Sporting regs 13.2 e
      e) The names of the drivers. A driver may be nominated subsequent to the application upon payment of a fee fixed by the FIA.

      Interesting that this latest incarnation of the sporting regs allows up to 26 cars.

      • You are correct, my recollection of this is that the withdrawal of the manufacturers 08/09 forced a rethink and the regulations were changed and allowed for 13 teams in 2010. However Bernie refused to accept a number of proposals leaving the grid with just 12.

        How do you interpret the driver nomination rule? If it’s how I read it, they should all be declared before Christmas – wouldn’t be as much fun though.

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