“Sir Hamilton set to tread the boards” – So, BREAKIN NEWS! Sir Loo is considering becoming an actor when he retires from F1?

Given the countless words we are about to be force fed over Red Bull’s bendy wing in Baku and so before the tirade of Toto propaganda washes our senses numb, let’s explore the idea of the lad from Stevenage off to ‘walk the boards’.

Indeed, this would be my advice to The Earl of Slumsville – Do Theatre before even dreaming of TV. The camera is very close up and can be very cruel, yet most of the spectators in the theatre are too far away to spot the novice mistakes one new to this trade will make.

Becoming an ‘actore’ requires a thick skin. There are plenty of critics and the smaller the stage, the less attention the budding Thespian will receive.

So Pantomime at the ‘Gordon Craig’ (Stevenage Theatre) would be a good place for Sir Loo to begin. Firstly, kids just love Panto no matter how god the players are – and given Lewis’ ability to court controversy, he could easily play the villain and get used to some public face to face hating

That said, Lewis has claimed at 5 years of age he was the subject of racist ‘words’, “the bullying and the beatings and the intimidation”.

Sir Loo’s innate ability to find drama would surely see him graduate quickly from Panto, maybe North a little, to the home of the most famous of English playwrights. Stratford-upon-Avon.

He would surely be welcomed with open arms by the Royal Shakespeare Company, whose drive for diversity has seen a King become a woman and heterosexuals interchanged with homosexuals.

We’ve never seen a black ex-F1 driver play Hamlet, so why not? Everyone deserves a chance after all.

And why shouldn’t the passion for ‘The Bard’ be restricted to Sir Loo? Can’t the rest of Formula 1 play too?

Here’s a starter for 10. The collective F1 bosses/aficionados are often referred to as the Piranha Club. Shakespeare’s description would be “Hell is empty and all the devils are here” (Ariel, The Tempest, Act 1 Scene 1).

Then we have, “I am a man more sinned against, than sinning” (King Lear,Act 3 Scene 2). In F1 terms this could be the infamous Lewis’ comment, “Maybe because I’m black”.

Hamilton had been hauled before the stewards in Monaco 2011 for the 6^th consecutive F1 weekend. When asked ‘why the persecution Lewis?’. This was his answer.

The imminent departure of Valteri Bottas from Mercedes AMG F1 could be found in a number of classic quotes. Such as, Toto: “Goodnight. Goodnight. Parting is such sweet sorrow” (Romeo and Juliet, Act 2 Scene 2).

In my minds eye, I see the scene where Mark Webber explains to Valteri why they are ‘Number 2’ drivers to their team mates. The Aussie whispers to the Finn, “The fault dear Bottas, lies not within the stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings” Julias Ceasar, Act 1 Scene 2).

Vettel then comments to them both, “How bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through [your team mates] another man’s eyes” (as you like it, Act 5 Scene 2).

Lawrence Stroll, having acquired the Silverstone team boldy announced to the troops at it’s rebranding, ‘race wins are now coming our way’. Reportedly Bob Fernley muttered in response, “Lord, what fools these mortals be” (Puck, Midsummer nights dream. Act 5 Scene 1).

Shakespeare even has a view on F1 strategy. An ex-Ferrari engineer wrote in his memoirs, “The fool doth think he is wise, the wise man knows himself to be a fool” (As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1). Clearly the philosophy for the dithering strategies deployed by the Maranello team.

This next quote reminded me of the utter surprise Hamilton expressed over team radio when Perez appeared from the pits last time out ahead of him. “Is that a [dagger] Red Bull I see before me?” (Macbeth, Act 2 Scene 1).

It would be remiss of us not to reference the motto by which the GOAT Mercedes best ever driver has lived by. “Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” .

When asked which of these related to him best, I imagine Hamilton would reply – “all of them”.