#TJ13 #F1 Courtroom Podcast: “Ever such a good plan”


This week’s show welcomes back the Massive Mammal, that’s right, the Faaaattttt Hiiipppooo himself returns with all his Teutonic grace. Sadly, his internet burns down right at the beginning of the show, but don’t worry that won’t stop the other panelists from mocking him when he can’t defend himself (it’s safer that way).

He is joined by Anil “Nutella” Parmar spreading the love of A level physics and chafing under the yoke of being the youngest panel member yet again, as he is relegated to the role of student, regardless of whether or not he actually is one, on which point opinions differ. Chief Khan-trarian AJ throws himself into the fray for the 3rd straight week but don’t worry we’ve edited out most of the boring stuff out for you.

Mattpt55 suffers an invisible contaminant on his internet that sees him mysteriously drop out halfway through a discussion but fortunately he was able to officially welcome Host-in-Chief and the ever sartorially consistent Spanners to the Over-the-Hill gang. Together they discuss the inverse square law of memory loss and child-rearing.

Mildly Interested F1 Fan, Daryl, makes a reappearance that is sadly cut short as he crosses entirely the boundaries of sanity and good taste before Spanners gives him the heave-ho.

The panel this week embarks on an excruciatingly thorough forensic analysis of the fateful Mercedes pit stop. Fans of minutiae and timelines put down your copies of JFK long enough to have your mind thoroughly blown by what some folk get up to with their total lack of a home life.

The follow through is a thorough look at who exactly should be held responsible for the utter disaster that befell Mercedes in front of their Chairman, Dieter Zetsche, whilst trying to show off their bright and shiny newly-contracted superstar driver. Inconsistent stewarding rises to the top as well, as the panel explore new and different ways to get back to racing and away from the Naughty Step.

Many suggestions are made, some with actual merit and Spanners sticks up for young Max who comes a cropper with the rest of the panel for being unable to keep a secret. Anil gives a brief rundown of the Formula E brouhaha from last weekend and Mattpt55 opines that Formula E is boring in German. Try Italian next time Trumpets, even renewing your passport sounds exciting in Italian.

Spanners introduces a regulation change to this weeks quiz that results in utter chaos at the first corner and in the resultant mess AJ changes his answer without penalty after the elapsed time. time for Professional Stewards say I. In any event, some of the panel as usual get the right answer for the wrong reasons whilst the rest figure it out after it is too late.

This week’s Things explores the *real* reasons for Hamilton’s horrible pit stop and venture far afield in search of their answer, exploring both general relativity and Quantum theory in an attempt to understand what happened, whilst ignoring entirely a balky green light that was the likely actual cause. Oh well, win some lose Monaco, as they say…

Thanks again to the Jury for all the brilliant points they made that we once again completely ignored in favour of making juvenile jokes at Spanner’s expense. We promise we’ll do better next week… Really

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5 responses to “#TJ13 #F1 Courtroom Podcast: “Ever such a good plan”

  1. That was a good one. Well done podcast crew. +1

    Also, I’d probably listen to a whole podcast with Daryl ‘the mildly interested F1 fan’. At some stage I’d love to hear a ‘best of’ of Daryl, with all his bits spliced together.

  2. My cartoon character that I would place in F1 is Speedy Gonzalez, we got the Mexican GP coming on line and Carlos Slim could be his personal sponsor to grease his way through the junior categories 😜

    Plus his radio messages would be hilarious!

  3. This podcast had a very good dialogue on race stewards and driving penalties.

    The discussion was spawned, in part, by the confusion as to why Alonso received a 5 second penalty for contact with Hulkenberg as they braked and turned into the Mirabeau turn, but when Ricciardo touched Kimi in a similar at the same place at the end of the race, the stewards didn’t give a penalty.

    Today I noticed some very pertinent information on this issue. Ferrari had expanded on this issue in their post race press releases.

    1) Kimi, in his post race pr, said, ” I was following my normal line when Ricciardo hit my rear tire and pushed me wide, regaining the position. It’s not very clear what you are allowed to do, it’s really odd…”

    The key bit is that Kimi is as confused and frustrated as we are as to what is allowed.

    Next is where it is pretty surprising…

    2) Arrivabene, in his pr, said, “When Ricciardo got past (Kimi), I was determined to have a hard look at the rules, but then I was told that now the move is allowed when the driver in front opens up the line and the one behind manages to put at least on wheel inside . So we respect the Stewards’ decision.”

    So there are at least three conclusions to draw from this:

    1) Prior to the race, Arrivabene and Kimi (perhaps the whole SF team?) didn’t know about the front wheel alongside is OK.

    That is very significant because to enable better competition, and better enforcement of the rules, all competitors should be well aware of how the rules will be enforced.

    2) Now it seems more likely than before that the reason Alonso received the penalty is not because he touched Hulkenberg (because that may be OK as seen in RIC vs RAI case), but because Hulkenberg was on the outside line, giving Alonso room (the Marussias behind them went all the way through Mirabeau side by side on that 1st lap) when Alonso lost the rear on turn-in, drifted off the inside line and smacked Hulkenberg off the course.

    The difference is that Ricciardo was in control, and Kimi didn’t give him room, while Hulkenberg gave Alonso room, but Alonso lost control and drifted into Hulk off.

    But why must we, the spectators, as well as the teams themselves, perform all this speculation as to the stewards reasonings? It help a great deal if the FIA debriefed the press on the reasoning for stewards rulings at the end of each day. Further, it would be wise for the FIA to update the spectators on the unwritten guidelines of how stewards will enforce regulations prior to events to improve our enjoyment of the competition.

    3) We still don’t understand the reasoning for Alonso’s penalty, despite the exercise in speculative reasoning in point 2 above. Even if I’m correct, why am I correct?

    Is it because Hulk went into the barriers that Alonso received the penalty?
    If Hulk had not gone into the barriers, but his car had minor damage, would there be a penalty?
    What if no barriers, but major damage, (flat tire, or worse)?

    Ironically, as Hulkenberg extracts himself from the Mirabeau barriers, guess he crawls around past him to the hairpin… Massa. I believe it was Hulk who hit Massa and caused Massa’s flat. Going into St. Devote, Hulk was on the inside of Massa (similar to how VET and ROS were), and Hulk’s rear stepped out and smacked Massa’s front wheel and literally broke the effing wheel rim, deflating the tire.

    So no investigation by the stewards there, because Charlie didn’t call it in to the them. And that is another question.. why wasn’t that called into the stewards?

    But that leads in to Anil’s excellent point in the podcast, which is that it appears that the FIA call the races tighter today than they did in the past. And that may not be a good thing if it discourages courageous driving by talented drivers. I’m not sure I agree exactly with that point as expressed, but that is a different issue than the unknown reasoning for penalties, which is the point of this comment. 🙂

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