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Andy Green ‘fesses up (09:00)
Vandoorne becomes McLaren tester (09:00)
Eric Boullier jumps ship (11:15)
Today from the Usher’s Ledger (12:00)
McLaren reveals all (12:00)
Lotus not to be outdone (12:30)
TheJudge13 goes live in Germany (14:30)
wtf1.co.uk win the internet (15:00)
Renault: Missing Jerez will be setback for Lotus
When Lotus announced that they would not be attending the Jerez test, they claimed that they won’t suffer much from it as they will happily profit from the work done and data gathered by the other Renault teams Red Bull, Toro Rosso and Caterham. Renault has now rubbished these claims and expresses what every observer with half a brain knows – it’s a huge disadvantage to skip the test.
Not counting that the sheer thought of Red Bull voluntarily sharing their data with the only team that troubled them last year is quite preposterous an idea, Renault’s Rob White explains why the Lotus folk were wrong, again.
“The fundamental power unit is identical, but each installation is unique,” says White. “The objectives for the first test are to fully validate the power unit in its environment. It is the first time that you can bring the whole thing together and turn it on – you haven’t got the chassis combined at the factory.
“We do a great deal to simulate as much as we can, but ahead of the fire-up we haven’t ever brought together every single piece of sub-system and system in the exact configuration that it will be, in that car.
“So the stuff that is, if you like, shareable and shared between the teams is the stuff that pertains direct to the power unit, not the stuff that pertains to its particular environment.
“Clearly anybody that isn’t able to run at Jerez will be a little bit behind and that includes the power unit side of the equation.“
So, in essence Lotus can now decide whether Renault exposed them as pathological liars or blithering idiots. Somehow neither prospect does sound very promising to me. But at least Renault does talk about Lotus, so at least it looks as if the team and the French manufacturer have come to an understanding and the three office temps at Lotus that haven’t yet been poached by other teams may not have to push the cars around the track.
Andy Green ‘fesses up
Force India got one up on their competition when they did a surprise reveal of their 2014 challenger two days ago. The 3D rendering showed off their new, more aggressive livery, but other than that it was as revealing as an Amish edition of the Playboy magazine. Carefully showing only the side profile of the car, it was even tilted at a slight angle to hide the car’s exposed gentleman sausage.
In an interview with Auto, Motor & Sport Technical Director Andrew Green admits that their car is an anteater, too. “Thin like the nose of an anteater,” he describes the car’s facial features. He readily admits that the solution is unsightly and that a flattened nose, like featured on the 2012 McLaren would be the more aesthetic approach, but the ‘trunk solution’ is aerodynamically preferable.
“More air would go over the car than under it, but we want as much air to pass below the car to feed the diffuser. We will always build what yields the best lap time and barely satisfies the safety regulations, no matter what it looks like.”
But not all noses will look the same, according to Green, who knows of three or four different solutions and describes the ‘anteater nose’ as ‘conservative’. “It’s one that does allow us to pass the crash tests without problems, so that we can tackle the early tests without having to fear that we completely mess up.”
So those of you, who thought that the bollock-nose described by his honour yesterday was a cruel joke should be warned that we haven’t seen the worst of it yet.
Vandoorne becomes McLaren tester
One thing is clear – the parents of Stoffel Vandoorne did not speak German, as Stoffel in several German dialects means simpleton. Thankfully his driving is the exact opposite of what his name in lower saxon suggests. Replacing 2012 champion Robin Frijns in the WSR, he finished runner-up to his new team mate Kevin Magnussen in 2013. Like former Steward GP driver Jan Magnussen’s son, he joins the McLaren lineup. He’ll be filling the role of reserve and test driver and one can only hope that like his colleagues van der Gaarde at Sauber and Frijns at Caterham, he’ll get enough track time to prove his mettle.
Last minute chance to attend Jerez test
The Fat Hippo was scheduled to be at Jerez for the first winter test however is now unable to attend due to work commitments. The result is there will be a smart hotel room in Jerez de la Frontera with no Hippo in it. The hotel is just minutes from the track and there are several of the teams staying there as well.
The cost for the room, which is booked from January 26th to February 1st, would amount to 500 Euros. If you’re spontaneous enough to pick up the booking with just 2 day’s notice, please use the Contact Form to let us know.
Eric Boullier jumps ship
Lotus team boss Eric Boullier has jumped ship and is rumoured to take the place of Martin Whitmarsh at McLaren. The vacated post will be taken by Gerard Lopez, who is quick to ensure – comical Ali style – that Lotus never stood still and looks forward to an exciting season with an innovative car (that is so innovative it doesn’t need to be tested at Jerez) and a new management sturucture, comprised of all three people, who remain at Enstone. It will be interesting to see, which species the fornicating animals on Lotus’s twitter account will be this time. I hope it’s not Hippos…
McLaren reveals all
McLaren has bared it all today. In a launch held at the MTC at 12:00 the team from Woking gave the world the first real look of what 2014 could bring. Following hot on the heals of the William F1 FW26 launch yesterday this is what McLaren will look like:
Probably the most striking, bar the front of the car, is the lack of sponsors on the car and the drivers. Yes, Mobil1, Pirelli and SAP are there but what about Glaxo Smith Kline’s brands?
On their website the latter’s brands are still mentioned as partners… not updated your site or are we in for a different livery?
And for those of you who would like to listen to Sam Michael
Lotus not to be outdone
It becomes clear that Lotus have to …err… compensate as they nailed not one, but two male genitalia to the face of their car. They seriously had the gall to call it ‘a beauty’ on their Twitter page. Yeah, right chaps…
It appears as if the teams compete to build the first car that’ll be bleeped out by the BBC.
TheJudge13 goes live in Germany
As of today the content of TheJudge13 will also be available for the German speaking community. As our current server doesn’t provide the infrastructure for seamless integration of multi-language content, the German variant will be temporarily published in the GTRP Motorsports Forum and will be migrated, once we’ve relocated to a new server.
wtf1.co.uk win the internet